A Bad Dream Within a Dream
by LKW
Summary: Someone in Cobra is having a nightmare ... does Cobra Commander care? Now with less fatal ending!


"Is _all_ that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?"

"A Dream Within a Dream," Edgar Allan Poe

(the only thing close to poetry in here, believe me. The rest is more like … "Dallas".)

This takes place after G.I Joe: the Movie. Sort of. (You'll see ….) (Also, helpful if you know Mindbender's background/secondary specialty; it comes up, eventually ….)

UPDATE: I had this alternate ending in mind almost as soon as I'd written the original. I decided to add it now so this story could be "in continuity" with my next G.I. Joe stuff, which includes Destro (if I'm really going to bother with continuity; there is an in-joke reference to this story in my next, though). Wrapping up some fic over on the Transformers thread, but I should have an actual new story (or chapter, at least) on here soon. Feel free to read and review ...

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Noooo!" Mindbender whined. "I didn't mean to call you 'Stupidor,' Stupidor, I just – oh no, I did it again! Curses! Ow! Ow, that's my head! No, I like my head! Nooooo – "

Dr. Mindbender sat bold upright in bed. "Give me back my monacle – huh?" He looked around, at his bedroom. "Oh, thank goodness, it was just a dream! Whew …."

He heard the door slide open. "All right, Mindbender, what's the meaning of all that screaming?"

"My lord Serpentor – do you have a speech inpediment all of a sudden – " Mindbender's voice cut off suddenly at the sight of the familiar helemeted visage of – "Cobra Commander? But … but you're a snake!"

"Why, thank you," Cobra Commander replied. "Hey, wait – do you mean a 'snake' snake? And .. who is this 'Soupentor'? … Just what kind of a dream were you having, Mindbender?"

"Um …." Mindbender was flabergasted. "Um …. Um … you've never heard of Serpentor? The Cobra Emperor?"

""**I** am the only Cobra Emperor!" Cobra Commander declared. "And the Dictator, and the King, and the Tyrant, and the Lord of the Sith …."

"But … I created Serpentor to be our perfect leader …"

"**What**?"

"Yes, from the DNA of the world's greatest warriors, like Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun … Sgt. Slaughter!"

"Sgt Slaughter!" Cobra Commander laughed. "Sgt. Slaughter! If we were making a mighty warrior out of DNA, and including a professional wrestler … I would hope we'd at least get the **right** wrestler – the Macho Man Randy Savage, ohh yeaaah! … Um, I mean, go on."

"And he took over Cobra, and we conquered Washington D.C. .. but he forgot to put gas in our vehicles, and everybody else was too stupid to think to do it …."

"Well, some people around here might be that stupid," Cobra Commander conceeded. "But none of that ever happened, Fenderbender."

"But … none of it? And … you're not from Cobra-La? The kingdom of plants and bug people, hidden in Artic mountains?"

"The … **what** now?"

"You're not a seven-eyed, blue skinned scientist who got mutated into a snake?"

"Um … **no**," the Commander replied. "I used to be a used-car salesman, but …."

"I … None of that ever happened." Mindbender was still trying to wrap his bizzarro mind around it. "None of the silly bug people were real? And … I never created the new Cobra leader …."

"No! But the **real **Cobra leader isn't happy that you tried!" Cobra Commander spat.

"But … but … it was just a dream!" Mindbender protested.

"Dreams mean something, Mindbender! In this case, they mean you report to Zartan immediately!"

"Zartan?"

"Yes! You'll be joining the Dreadnoks!"

"What?"

"Yes … Zartan said he needs a new Dreadnok janitor! Ha ha ha ha!"

"Noooooo!"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Destro woke up.

"Bah! Blah! Bleh!" he exclaimed.

"What's going on?" Cobra Commander asked, bursting into Destro's room, gun drawn. "We could hear your screaming all the way down the hall! It was very annoying – "

"Uh … Commander?" Destro tried to regain his bearings. "What – how did you get into my room?"

"Come, Destro … did you really think that there was a room in Cobra Headquarters to which I would not have a key?" Destro was certain of a smug grin behind the mirror mask. "Now – I command you to tell me what's going on in here! Are you hiding someone?"

"No … no, it's only me in here," Destro replied. "Right? … Yeah…."

"Destro - were you dreaming?" Cobra Commander querried. "**That's** what this was all – You sleep in that thing?"

"What? Oh, the helmet? … Like you don't."

"It's a security measure!"

"Sure …" Destro replied. " So … how's Serpentor?"

"Serpentdoor?"

"No, Serpentor!" Destro snapped. "You've … really never heard of Serpentor?"

"Not unless it's a new automobile."

"Incredible! Could I have dreamed the entire thing? The Cobra Emperor … Cobra-La …."

"You dreamed about a musical?" Cobra Commander asked incredulously.

"No, it was … a secret society of insectoid people."

"Oh, like **that's** better," Cobra Commander remarked.

"I dreamt … that I worked with this insipid scientist in a monocle, Dr. Mindbender…"

"Really?"

"And created a … Cobra emperor … from the DNA of dead warriors .. and Sgt. Slaughter."

"Oh, stop!" Cobra Commander laughed.

"Yes … it seems so ridiculous now. And he was an ill-tempered, arrogant barbarian – whom we all willingly **followed**! Why would I create a leader to obey?"

"Indeed. You already have the perfect leader to obey!" Cobra Commander proclaimed.

"Uhhh … right," Destro grumbled. "Of course … you were somewhat displaced in this dream."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes … after we used you as a scapegoat for everything that went wrong, your people … the insectoids … turned you into a snake …."

"What?" Cobra Commander took a step toward Destro. "Is there mutiny and treason brewing in the murky depths of your brain, Destro?"

"Brewing? Murky depths? I need some coffee. Or some whiskey …." Destro groped around.

"Answer the question, helmet head."

"Like **you **should be calling somebody that …." Destro mumbled. "…Of course I'm not treasonous, my dear Cobra Commander. It was just a dream…. But … then – after I agreed to obey the bug people and mutate everyone on Earth – ridiculous – I woke up – **as **Dr. Mindbender."

"Oh, really? Feeling insecure, Destro?" Cobra Commander asked. "… What did you say this 'Mindbender' looked like, again?"

"And," Destro continued, ignoring the Commander's query, " just as now, you stormed into my room, and I told you of my dream – the part of it I knew was a dream then – the dream within a dream. And you denied ever being a blue skinned, multiple-eyed scientist from Cobra-La –"

"Well, **yeah**."

"- and then said you used to be a used car salesman –"

"How did you know – I mean … how ridiculous?" Cobra Commander managed.

"And then … you sentenced 'me' – Mindbender, that is – to become a Dreadnok for his – my – trechery."

"Ha!" Cobra Commander laughed. "You and the Dreadnoks! Ha ha! But …The trecherous **dream**? Fear not, Destro; I'm not as unreasonable as you dream. You won't repeat the same fate as your imaginary self … this time. But watch your subconsciousness – I command you!"

"Just because you have 'Commander' in your name, you don't have to keep 'commaning' everything," Destro muttered.

"And now," Cobra Commander continued, "if you're all done with your silly nightmares, I'll introduce you to the newest member of Cobra! I was talking to him when you started yelling like a loon."

"Hmph."

Cobra Commander gestured towards the door. "Destro, I'd like you to meet Dr. – "

Destro was stunned at the sight of the bald, mustachioed,man entering his room.

"No!" he exclaimed. "No, it can't be!" He lept out of bed. "It's all coming true! No!" He looked around. "I won't let it. I – I must defenestrate! Yes!" Destro ran towards the window.

"Destro! We're on the seventh floor!" Cobra Commander exclaimed.

Destro jumped out the window.

"Eeew," the bald man in amonocle said.

"Well … I never thought old Destro would go out like **that**," the Commander remarked.

"What … does 'denfenestrate' mean?" the new Cobra askedwith his strange accent.

"Exit by means of a window."

"Oh. … Well, sorry about that," the Doctor said.

"Well, he was kind of nuts, anyway," Cobra Commander replied,walking towardsthe window. "Obviously."

Suddenly, Destro's voice carried up to his room. "I'm all right! I'm all right! I landed on my face!"

"Oh," Cobra Commander said. "That's ... I'm not sure HOWI feel about that, actually."

"Just - keep that Mindbender away from me!" Destro exclaimed, as Cobrasoldiers began helping him up.

" 'Mindbender' ?" the Commander repeated. "I was going to call you 'Dr. Brainwave,' but ..."

"Really?" the Doctor asked. "I thoughtI wouldcall my self the Deadly Doctor - "

"Still," Cobra Commander continued, ignoring his new employee's comment,"I wonder what set him off."

"Well," the newly-christened Dr. Mindbenderreplied, "some people are … just really afraid of the dentist!"


End file.
